Are all lawyers the same, will they make things better or worse, what will they actually do for me and do we even need them?

Why are lawyers like nuclear bombs?

If one side gets one the other side wants one and if you use them everything gets smashed and burned and messed up forever.

LOL – it’s funny because it’s a little true. Lawyers have a bad reputation, – one a lot of lawyers have worked really hard for – but actually not all lawyers are the same and the one you choose can help to determine the tone, the fairness, the length, the long term consequences and the cost of your separation.

Are all lawyers the same?

All lawyers are not the same and that is especially true in Family Law.

Broadly family law firms can be divided in to two types. Litigious and Collaborative and the one you chose will go a long way to determining how expensive how argumentative and how long your separation will take.

Collaborative

Collaborative family lawyers generally use negotiation to come to an agreement about dividing your assets and about access to children. Choosing a collaborative lawyer means the whole process can take as little as two months – if you can easily agree – or as long as six months if you require a little more to and fro to find a solution.

Negotiation does not mean you get less than you are entitled to or that your ex is able to hide assets so you cant get access to them. In all separations and divorces – whether collaborative or litigious – the court has final approval of your agreement to make sure it is fair and reasonable.

Negotiation does not mean you get less than you are entitled to or that your ex is able to hide assets

Because collaborative requires no court time and no court appearances it is also significantly cheaper than going down a litigious path which is why at BrightSide we are able to offer package prices rather than ‘pay by the minute’ as many law firms do. For a collaborative separation you can expect to pay between $4,000 and $6,000.

Litigious

There is no doubt that some couples however will be forced to choose a litigious path and in fact studies done in the family court have found that 5% of couples have no other choice than to go to court.

A litigious lawyer is what most people imagine when they talk about a lawyer. But not all lawyers are like that.

If there is a lot of emotion or bad feelings around your separation, if one or both of you is simply unwilling to negotiate or there are VERY difficult parenting decisions to be made, court may be your only option.

A litigious lawyer is what most people imagine when they talk about a lawyer.

If you choose a firm based around litigation the first thing they will do is to take an amount – usually around $10,000 – which they will hold in trust, and begin preparing documents for you to go to court. They will suggest freezing any joint accounts, holding on to any assets you currently have and do not let your ex use them, and they will send a letter to your ex – or their lawyer if they have one – with a demand for a percentage of the assets (usually a high percentage). They do this because choosing to go to court is choosing to fight it out and they are getting prepared to have that fight.

I you go to court it will cost you at least $100,000 each and can run to the millions. It will also on average take two years before you get an answer from a judge. In that two years your life is on hold. Often assets cant be sold or changed, bank accounts may be frozen and access to children is undecided.

We often hear tales of people who have spent $200,000 each and are still nowhere near to a resolution.

Will a lawyer make things better or worse?

Most people’s idea of a lawyer is a snarling rottweiler. and most people going through a separation think that is what they need. How many times do we hear people say it “i’m going to get the most vicious lawyer in town and make them pay”

So what do you reckon, is that vicious rottweiler going to make things better or worse?

Lawyers will not make things worse just because they are lawyers. More important than the choice of whether to have lawyers or not is which lawyer you choose. If you choose a litigious aggressive lawyer you will get a litigious aggressive separation if you choose to negotiate you will get negotiation and collaboration.

Lawyers will not make things worse just because they are lawyers but you do need to choose the right one.

In the heat and emotion of a separation people tend to forget the longer term, and forget they may have an ongoing connection to their ex. The lawyer you choose will go a long way to setting the tone for your separation or divorce and a very long way to setting the tone for any ongoing relationship you may have. If you have to co-parent for example choosing the rottweiler may have very long term consequences. We have a saying at BrighSide that you are only ever semi-separated and that is especially true if you have children together. If you co-parent you will always have some sort of connection and how you separate will make that easier or harder as time goes on.

But, in the end a lawyer is like a partner and you need to choose one that will represent you the way you would like to be represented.

What will a lawyer do for me and do we even need them?

For most of us separation and divorce or buying a house are the only times we will have any direct contact with the legal system and the only time may need a lawyer. Although it is possible to DIY your separation there are lots of reasons why having a lawyer involved will make the process much smoother.

Basically a lawyer will navigate a legal system which you have no experience with. You can DIY your separation and divorce (We have included a link to a DIY guide at the end of the article) but you will need to negotiate directly with your ex which depending on your relationship may be very tricky. Having a lawyer to do it for you – especially a collaborative lawyer – can take the emotion out of that negotiation and also give you a sounding board for what is fair and reasonable and what you can expect to get. A lawyer can also make sure you are getting what you are entitled to and make sure you are protected in your negotiations.

A lawyer has also done this before and knows the traps, pitfalls and things to look out for. Obviously the process is very legal and preparing documents for the family court and especially for superannuation funds can be tricky and frustrating, And if you don’t prepare them properly they will be rejected and returned to you which can mean a lot of too and fro while you try and try again to get it right.

A good lawyer is there not only to protect your interests, but also to make the whole thing as painless as it can possibly be.

But mostly having a lawyer to guide you through is about reassurance. A good lawyer is not just about legal advice, a good lawyer is a mentor, an advisor, a guide, and someone who is there to protect you. Change is hard and scary and separation and divorce is one of the biggest changes we will go through Your lawyer is there to make that change easier and more straight forward and because they have done it all before to give you the reassurance that nothing is being missed and nothing is being forgotten.

A good lawyer is there not only to protect your interests, but also to make the whole thing as painless as it can possibly be.

So – Lawyers who needs ’em?

It is often one of the things people say when they have the separation talk “lets not get lawyers lets keep the lawyers out of this” and that is understandable considering most peoples idea of lawyers is less than favourable. But if you choose the right lawyer and approach the whole process with an open mind lawyers can make it easier, cheaper, quicker and much less stressful for you.

So do you need a lawyer? Well, that is all about choosing the right one but if you do choose the right one they will be an asset to you.

If you are interested in drafting consent orders yourself click the link below for a guide produced by the federal AG’S office or for more information on whats involved read our article on DIY Divorces.

https://brightsidefamillylaw.com.au

https://www.instagram.com/susanhewitt_familylawyer/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/susanhewittfamilylawyer