Gwyneth Paltrow has admitted that even she finds the term conscious uncoupling a little full of itself. In a recent article written for Vogue magazine she writes in depth about the now famous phrase.
“I was intrigued, less by the phrase, but by the sentiment. Was there a world where we could break up and not lose everything? Could we be a family, even though we were not a couple? We decided to try” she writes.
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Gwyneth Paltrow’s self-conscious uncoupling
The actress now admits that the language of her break-up statement was ‘a bit full of itself’
Friday August 07 2020, 12.01am BST, The Times
When Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced their “conscious uncoupling” in 2014 it caused some to question whether they had resorted to psychobabble to avoid expressions like “split up” or “separate”. In a candid article about the end of their marriage, Paltrow has now admitted that she also disliked the term when she first heard it.
“Frankly, the term sounded a bit full of itself,” she wrote in Vogue. “[It sounded] painfully progressive and hard to swallow. It was an idea introduced to us by our therapist, the man who helped us architect our new future. I was intrigued, less by the phrase, but by the sentiment. Was there a world where we could break up and not lose everything? Could we be a family, even though we were not a couple? We decided to try.”
She and Martin, 43, the singer-songwriter for Coldplay, have previously been guarded about their private lives but the actress described the process in detail in the magazine.
Paltrow, 47, who divorced Martin in 2016 and is now married to the screenwriter Brad Falchuk, said that she realised that their relationship was untenable while they were on holiday in a cottage in Tuscany. The couple have two children: Apple, 16, and Moses, 14.
The actress, who won an Oscar for Shakespeare in Love and has gained a global following for her appearances in Marvel comic book films, said that they had great days and “days when we couldn’t stand each other” before they decided to announce their separation on Goop, her lifestyle website.
She said she was trembling before giving the go-ahead to publish. “We knew that the piece would generate a lot of attention — a celebrity couple ending their relationship always does — but I never could have anticipated what came next. The public’s surprise gave way quickly to ire and derision. A strange combination of mockery and anger. Frankly, the intensity of the response saw me bury my head in the sand deeper than I ever had in my very public life.”
She suggested that the public attitude to her was cyclical, and that people usually warmed to her ideas. It remains to be seen whether people will come around to her promotion of jade vaginal eggs, which her company said could balance a woman’s hormone levels before withdrawing the claim after a legal complaint. “I, or we at Goop, introduce something unfamiliar, there’s a big reaction, before gradual cultural adoption,” she wrote.
She said that she was still in love with parts of Martin’s personality despite her second marriage and his relationship with the actress Dakota Johnson. “It’s OK to stay in love with the parts of your ex that you were always in love with. In fact, that’s what makes conscious uncoupling work.”
Separately, Paltrow hosted a video podcast with Cameron Diaz about the stress of acting. The two women both swigged from glasses of Avaline, Diaz’s new brand of “clean wine”.
Diaz, 47, confirmed that she had retired two years ago and said that she had no intention to return. Her last project was the 2014 musical Annie. “I got a peace in my soul, because I finally was taking care of myself,” she said. “It’s so intense to work at that level and be that public and put yourself out there.”
Diaz married the musician Benji Madden in 2015 and gave birth to Raddix, their first child, in December. She said Paltrow had inspired her to have children. “I would not have become a mother if it wasn’t for you. I’d be like, ‘I’m not having kids’. And you’re like, ‘You are having kids, you’re getting married.’”
For help with your separation or parenting issues call BrightSide
Susan Hewitt is the Principal at Bright Side Family Law, a non-litigious family law and mediation practice. Susan has worked as a lawyer and journalist for almost 30 years. She is an accredited collaborative lawyer and family-law mediator who is committed to helping families through their relationship breakdown in an honest, cooperative and respectful manner.
If you are facing a family law matter call or email Bright Side https://brightsidefamilylaw.com.au/contact-us/