Semi Separation. Is it the new conscious uncoupling?
Weirdo-chic power couple Grimes and Elon Musk have announced they are ending their relationship after three years together. Well, actually, they’re not quite ending their relationship, they are actually going to have a “semi-separation”. A little weird but maybe it’s not actually as weird as it sounds.
“We are semi-separated but still love each other, see each other frequently and are on great terms”
Musk coined the phrase during an exclusive interview with Page Six “We are semi-separated but still love each other, see each other frequently and are on great terms”. The couple are blaming their semi separation on very different schedules and too much time apart “It’s mostly that my work at SpaceX and Tesla requires me to be primarily in Texas or travelling overseas and her work is primarily in LA”.
But they have agreed to co-parent their epically named 18 month old son X Æ A-Xii Musk “She’s staying with me now and Baby X is in the adjacent room.”
As unbelievable as it seems, back in the era before the Gwyneth Paltrow/Chris Martin split, people simply…broke up. Then, in 2014, Paltrow announced that she and ex-husband Martin were “consciously uncoupling”, and although the term was fairly roundly mocked, it also spoke to a certain element of unfinished business that characterises so many splits. After all, if you have kids, or a house, or even just a large group of mutual friends…how do you sever the ties completely?
“She’s staying with me now and Baby X is in the adjacent room.”
The simple answer is you don’t – in fact you can’t – so is semi separation actually as weird as it first sounds? We don’t think so.
When you choose to partner up with someone – whether formally through a marriage or even as defactos you are accepting they will be a part of you for the rest of your life. And that is true even if you don’t have children together. So once you have made that connection with someone the most you can ever be is semi separated.
Which is exactly why we choose to be collaborative and non-litigious at Brightside. You will run in to your ex, you will hear what they are up to, you will see their relationship status change on-line and you will see pictures of them with their new partner smiling on a beach somewhere. It is inevitable. And if you have children together you will also have to co-operate, communicate and co-parent.
So going full slash and burn at the end of your relationship will never be a good idea and going to court, fighting it out and getting ugly will also never be a good idea. By choosing to go that way you are dooming yourself to a whole lot of angst and anxiety that you don’t need when what you should be focused on is a fresh start and rebuilding.
So even though the first time you hear it semi separation sounds a little weird, we love it. In a neat little package it summarises why we do what we do at Brightside and why we choose to do it the way we do. Because we will all only ever be semi separated.
For help with your separation or parenting issues call BrightSide
Susan Hewitt is the Principal at Bright Side Family Law, a non-litigious family law and mediation practice. Susan has worked as a lawyer and journalist for almost 30 years. She is an accredited collaborative lawyer, a family-law mediator and a qualified FDRP who is committed to helping families through their relationship breakdown in an honest, cooperative and respectful manner.
If you are facing a family law matter call or email Bright Side https://brightsidefamilylaw.com.au/contact-us/